How to safeguard everyone in your household
Bullying
Safeguarding and protecting children is an important part of fostering. Foster carers should look out for signs of bullying and should take steps to prevent it.
Your Safe Care policy should address bullying and cover:
- Putting in place clear rules within the house that bullying is not acceptable and what actions will be taken if you suspect bullying or are told of bullying happening
- Making it clear to children what is acceptable behaviour
- Providing opportunities for children to think about the issue of bullying, such as writing stories or poems or drawing pictures about bullying
- Having discussions about bullying and why it matters
- Being good role models as foster carers
What is bullying?
Many looked-after children experience bullying at school, in the local area and sometimes from other children in the foster home. Bullying can include:
- Name calling and teasing
- Threats and theft
- Physical violence
- Damage to belongings
- Leaving people out of activities deliberately
- Spreading rumours
Bullying can take place by text message, email or social networks such as Facebook and Twitter.
What are the signs and reasons for bullying?
Some signs of bullying can be:
- Not wanting to go to school
- Unexplained bruises
- Torn clothing
- Need for extra money
- Continually losing belongings
- Problems sleeping
- Sudden loss of appetite
- Problems at nursery, school or college
- Withdrawn behaviour or temper tantrums
- Unusually hungry at the end of the school day (lunch money being taken)
- Rushing to the bathroom after school (fear of going to the school toilets)
- Self harming
- Extreme emotions
The bullying may be because:
- The child feels or appears different: they may arrive at school by taxi, they may not be able to take part in after school clubs and they may be withdrawn from some lessons to attend meetings
- The child may not be achieving as well as others in their class
- The child may have had lots of moves of carer or school
- The child may not have a friendship group
- The child may not want others to know that they are looked after
- The child may feel isolated and think they have no-one to talk to at school
- Difficult and distressing life experiences have left the child with poor self-esteem and a lack of "coping" mechanisms
What to do if you think your foster child is being bullied or is bullying
If you have any concerns that incidents of bullying have happened between children within the foster home, or that a child may be a victim of bullying or is being a bully, you must discuss this with your supervising social worker.
They'll advise you on what actions are necessary to reduce or prevent it and will decide whether to inform the child's social worker.
When bullying occurs within the foster home it may be appropriate to call a meeting, preferably with the child or children, to discuss ways to prevent or reduce the bullying. The outcomes of the meeting may include the following:
- The bully or bullies being asked to apologise
- Some form of sanction/consequences being considered (in serious cases)
- The children being encouraged to make friends
After the incident has been dealt with, you should monitor the situation to make sure that bullying does not happen again.
If the bullying continues or is serious, the child's social worker should be consulted as soon as possible and it may be necessary to conduct a Placement Planning Meeting or a referral may be required under the Child Protection Referrals Procedure (opens new window).
You must record all incidents of bullying of the child who is the alleged victim and the child who is the alleged bully.
Key points to help your child
- Continue to act on the advice from the child's social worker and other professionals on ways to help build the child's self-esteem.
- Help the child think about what to say to help explain why they are living with foster carers.
- Encourage friendships and invite school friends home. There is strength in numbers. Bullies may target a child who is alone.
- Build coping skills. Problem solve difficult situations and practice what you might do.
- Do not reject a child who is a bully; reject the behaviour. Explain how the behaviour makes other children unhappy and help them develop other ways to feel better about themselves and to express how they feel.
- Give the child praise each time they help you or are kind to someone.
- Speak to the child's social worker and make an arrangement for both of you to see the child's class teacher or year head.
- Make sure that you and other people around the child are good role models.
Children can be reluctant to report bullying for fear of reprisal or because they think they will not be listened to. You must make a point of talking to children about bullying in order to help them report it.
When a child says they do not like something another child, young person or adult is doing or saying to them, they must be listened to and taken seriously. Even if you do not view the action as serious, the child may.
Norfolk County Council can assist and advise on this area and ways to support children. You'll also find advice and information at Bullying UK's website (opens new window).
Standards and regulations
Fostering Services National Minimum Standards (England) 2011
- Standard 1 - The child's wishes and feelings and those significant to them (opens new window)
- Standard 4 - Safeguarding Children (opens new window)