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Becoming foster Dads has changed our lives

Photograph of two adults walking along playfully swinging a smiling child between them

Graham and Tim wanted to expand their family and put a lot of thought and research into how they might best do this. They considered surrogacy and adoption but felt that fostering was the best fit for them. Through fostering they could contribute to a child's upbringing as well as enrich their own relationship. 

Tim is head gardener on a large country estate and Graham was a funeral director before becoming a full-time foster carer. The couple's very different skillsets shows that people from all kinds of backgrounds and with a range of experiences can become foster carers and help change young lives. 

"Before the assessment process began we worried that being an Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender Queer/Questioning plus (LGBTQ+) couple might be a disadvantage. But our assessing social worker was supportive and positive about our application and made us feel at ease throughout the process. We both felt we had a lot to offer a young person and that the best and most responsible route to fostering was with our local authority, Norfolk County Council." 

Graham and Tim were approved as foster carers in 2022 and were asked to provide a long-term foster placement for a child.  

They have found the experience equally rewarding and challenging. "We've had to overhaul our lifestyle because having a child in the house raises all sorts of practical issues. You have to understand that you can't both always do what you want to do. The child has to come first." 

Graham and Tim have got a good relationship with their foster child's parents. "After any contact we always ask after mum, dad, brothers and sisters to make them part of our life too. There's no dividing line. We've blurred it so our child can talk about mum and dad without it feeling awkward." 

"Our foster child likes being here with us and feels part of our family and wider life. The birth parents say their child is happy and have told us they feel we are doing a good job, which is really rewarding." 

Becoming foster carers has changed Graham and Tim's life. "As a couple we breathe more, we're not on the go all the time. The house is very different - it's chaos because kids come with stuff. There's cartwheels in the dining room, handstands on the bedroom wall. We have lighter, funnier moments and we're miles more relaxed."  

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